Blood Axe Kommando Tactics for Second Edition

In second edition Space Ork armies, most units are highly specialized, or are capable of being equipped to handle specific tasks on the battlefield. Blood Axe Kommandos are no exception. As a unique option available to Ork Warbosses, using these operatives effectively is key to their success. As a unit I plan on adding to Waaagh Retrok, here are my experiences with using this unit in games of second edition. 

What Makes Blood Axe Kommandos Unique?

If you're a modern 40K player, it is helpful to think of Kommandos as an Elite unit. Considering their stat line, they occupy a space between regular boyz and nobz. While they don't have the higher leadership of a nob, they do have a Weapon Skill and Ballistic Skill of 4, as well as an Initiative score of 3. 

Besides the boosted stats, Kommandos are the only unit in the Ork army list that can natively use the Infiltrate special rule. Keep in mind, Infiltration in second edition lets the unit deploy anywhere on the battlefield. In addition, they can start hidden if they are within terrain or behind it. 

These is another important detail that I've seen many players miss. Kommandos are one of a handful of units that can fight in dispersed formation. This means that the unit can maintain a squad coherency of 4" instead of the normal 2". This is great for protecting them from any weapon using a template, as well as other effects that rely on targets being closely spaced together. 

Finally, Blood Axe Kommandos can take additional assault weapons, stikkbombz, and up to one special or heavy weapon. They can also include a Blood Axe Kommando Kaptin; the only character that can join the mob. The Kaptin also has Infiltrate, so he can join the mob on whatever mission you give the squad.

Ways to Use Kommandos in Your Army

There are two main ways I would use Kommandos in an Ork army. The first is rather straightforward, while the second is more specialized.

Method One

Firstly, a mob of Kommandos can be quite large, numbering between 5-20 models. With their enhanced stat line, this makes them great fighters in either melee or shooting. You can use them for their melee ability, but Goff Skarboyz might be a better option, since they have increased Weapon Skill and a higher Strength. For me, the choice comes down to what I'm going up against and if the common house rule for axes is in play (+1 Strength, since they are functionally worse than swords which can Parry).  

Against armies like Imperial Guard, Kommandos are a nice consideration, since they fight better than Guardsmen, and if you are using the house rule for axes, you'll go from wounding on 4+ to 3+, which is about a 16% improvement. With a tied Initiative score, you won't be taking extra hits like Skarrboyz would in the same situation should your combat be tied. Granted, they are likely to survive the hits, but why would a kunnin' Warboss risk it?

The downside to a large mob of Kommandos is that they probably cannot infiltrate past your lines, since the squad needs to be completely out of line of sight. 

Another choice is to lean into their higher Ballistic Skill and upgrade them to carry boltguns for one extra point. This gives you some reliable dakka against light infantry. Even space marines can be withered down with enough bolter fire. Use your heavy weapon choice for a heavy bolter or heavy stubber for more shots!

This can be good if you're running a mid-size mob of about 10 models, since you could then have a high chance of infiltrating the mob into a position where then can pour fire into advancing enemy units. In heavy cover, 10 Kommandos can be hard to shift due to the to hit modifiers being applied to rolls. Even space marines will be needing 5+ rolls to hit a unit holed up in some ruins. 

Method Two

The second way I've seen players use Blood Axe Kommandos is probably the most common: tool them up for a specific role and set them loose! In my experience, Kommandos are great at tank hunting and assassinating characters not attached to squads (or in them, if you simply shoot them enough). 

Remember, Kommandos can take one special or heavy weapon. Most heavy weapons have very good ranges in second edition, and are probably better utilized in your Deathskull and Bad Moons mobs since they can hang back and fire at whoever needs a krumpin'. There is one exception I would consider: melta weapons. In second edition, meltaguns only have a 12" range, so they can be tricky to deploy if you don't have bodies to carry them across the battlefield, or transports to move them into range. 

Multi-meltas aren't much better, and boast a 24" range. However, they also use a 2" blast marker, making them great for damaging multiple locations on vehicles, as well as incinerating multiple heavy troops, like Terminators who are notoriously resilient in second edition (3+ armor save on 2d6 for the uninitiated). 

If you equip them with a meltagun, I would also add krak stikkbombz to the unit, so that they can all take a shot at destroying enemy armor. If you give the unit a multimelta, placing them in elevated cover is ideal, so that the heavy weapon can hopefully get off one shot before your opponent sweeps them off the board! You likely will, since Orks double their Strategy Rating to 6 when determining the first turn. 

I'm on the fence with melta bombs. While they can be super effective, I've just never had much luck with making contact with enemy vehicles before getting to use them. I think the big advantage here is that the attack automatically hits, and you can choose the location (within reason). So, you can target weak areas like tank tracks, or even disable guns if you want. If you know how to make this consistently work, please leave a comment on how you do it!

Against light armies, Kommandos can also be a great unit for harrying a flank. They have frag stikkbombz, which can be great for dispersing large units of light infantry, like Imperial Guard. Give your specialist a flamer, and you'll be carving out swathes of infantry and forcing them to take morale checks easily. 

Character hunting is decidedly un-Orky (Orks can't play the Assassins or Witch Hunt Missions, after all). On the other hand, Blood Axes are known for being shifty gits that dirty themselves with humie military strategy, so brutally kunnin' Warbosses might have a go at this. 

If that's for you, then simply adjust your mob's loadout for the target at hand. Outside of space marines, few armies will be able to handle even a small squad upgraded with power axes in close combat. Or blast them with a multi-melta. I'm not your Warboss, do what you want. 

The Role of a Blood Axe Kommando Kaptin

A Kommando Kaptin occupies the same space as a Boss in an Ork army, and is a Hero-level choice. Most importantly, not only can you equip them decently from the army list options, but they can also carry up to two Wargear Cards.

For Kaptins, I usually opt for cheaper single-use cards like the Haywire Grenade, Stasis Grenade, or Buzzer Squig Stikkbomb. I would personally never use it, but of course this could also be the dreaded Vortex Grenade (or Virus Grenade). Rad Grenades are also an option, and can be good for shifting an entrenched squad from cover due to the persistent effect.

They are also decent fighters, so giving him a good close combat weapon can really help in dealing with infantry (even a chainsword gives you +1 Str, -1 armor save, and access to Parry). If that's the case, I might also opt for a cheap forcefield like a refractor field to help him stay standing. 

If you are putting him into a shooting squad, then any of the kustom weapons (shoota, blasta, kombi) can be good choices. I would opt for one that complements your heavy weapon selection. If you're feeling cheeky, add Teleskopic Legs so that you can finally enjoy popup attacks from cover you're normally hidden within!

I would also consider giving a Kaptin who's deployed mid-field a teleport jammer if I'm facing space marines or chaos space marines, especially in larger point games since they are very likely to show up! 

Kommandos in My Ork Army

I am in the process of finishing my squad for Waaagh Retrork. It will be a five-ork squad, with an additional Kaptin. The Kaptin will have a Bionic Eye (because WYSIWYG) and Haywire Grenade, as well as a power axe. The squad will carry krak stikkbombz in addition to their normal gear. I haven't made a final choice, but I'm leaning toward a meltagun or plasma gun for my specialist. 

Why am I choosing this loadout? My main opponent fields a Crimson Fist space marine army, and I'll be using the lads to counter his terminators, which have thwarted me in every game in which I've faced them. Just for once, I'd like to see them eat it. Failing that, they will be responsible for hunting whichever tank or dreadnought makes the best target of opportunity. He tends to deploy both on flanks to anchor them, and I think this will give me the edge since I always have to deploy first normally. 

-Daz

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Castle Xyntillan Journal - Part Seven

 Before you proceed, please understand that this is an in-character record of my gaming notes. Be aware that it contains spoilers for the Castle Xyntillan mega dungeon module. Turn back now.

Start at Part One.

Learn more about the Castle Xyntillan Campaign.

Author: Brian Deegan. Shared under license.

The Sixth Expedition, September 1, 2026 

Despite our minor setback which saw many of my companions sat out of the previous expedition, we were able to assemble a large company of delvers to tackle Castle Xyntillan once more. 

Our adventuring company arranged as follows: 

• Norg, a thief of the gnomish persuasion, and devilishly handsome to boot
• Whim, a fighter and great mind
• Spud, a fellow thief and ne'er do well
• Carl, a cleric in the throes of puppy love
• Riley, a cleric of sound mind 
• Dettmar, a dwarven cleric and great drinker
• Quirky, an elven fighter and my longest serving adventuring companion
• A mysterious fighting woman of prodigious strength
• A magic user, whose name I presume is secret for magical purposes
• Two hirelings, for fighting
• And Tater, Spud's mule

Rumours Heard in the City 

Well spent coin will  always send tongues a wagging,  and we took the taverns and taphouses, where we wet whistles and listened as yarns were spun. It seems that no matter how many times we make forays into the halls of the Malevol's cursed castle, the gossip mongers are only more than happy to share what they know -- or are willing to speculate. 

"Don't trust the talking portraits." Author's note: We can dismiss this as bunkum, since my companions and I liberated the castle's portrait gallery during a previous visit. I won't dismiss the possibility of more being present, but I will say that I'm highly suspicious.

"There is a great secret below the Donjon." Author's note: This I am willing to lend greater credence too. Not only does the information come from a more trustworthy source, our delving company has also discovered many secret doors within the castle and its grounds. When we eventually attempt the donjon, I can assure you that we will thoroughly probe its depths to ascertain the veracity of this rumour. 

In addition, Dettmar and Quirky shared some updates from their previous visit:

• There is a large reserve of wine in secret, private quarters behind the chapel.
• The town tax office is keen to get their hands on the castle's accounting ledger.

Developments with the Castle Ravens

I must confess, I was beside myself being away from the ravens for an entire month! Would they remember their friend Norg? I was sure to pack away extra meat to make up for my absence. Luckily, I am happy to report that the ravens were as pleased as always to be fed. One even ate from the palm of my hand! A truly joyous occurrence. 

Developments with the Rose Garden

The rose garden continues to grow back. Were the bulbs not providing some use, I would have salted the earth in which these wretched plants grow. However, the bulbs do bring us some coin with the local alchemist, who has studied the capacity of the plants to cause living creatures to lull into a slumber. In addition, we spotted no signs of arms and legs sprouting back, thank the Golden Hills!

Between the Guard Posts

As you may recall, the courtyard contains two guard posts which stand before an entrance, which leads into an inner courtyard. It is in this inner courtyard where gargoyles dwell, and I'd really like to make acquaintance with them. 

Once you open this great wooden door, you are beset by a long corridor of some 20' by 60'. Bones and scarps of armor litter the ground here. If you explore here, be aware that more arrow slits line both of the stone walls which stand on either side of the causeway. 

My companions were startled to hear a booming voice declare, "Welcome to your doom," followed by cackling laughter. I showed some cheek and snapped back, mockingly, thinking it was some sort of illusory magic. Later developments would have me questions this decision. 

Dettmar expressed concern that this path might be detrimental, and after a brief discourse, we decided to return to the front doors of the castle. 

Through the Front...

On approach, the great booming voice once again mocked us, and from a distance we spied corpses on the steps of the entrance. The equine statue (the one with the human hands in place of hooves), snapped its finger and the bodies rose as zombies. However, Dettmar spoke his godly words of censure, and the undead were sent fleeing away, allowing us to proceed without further molestation. 

...and to the Chapel

Dettmar, Quirky and our mysterious magic user had explored the castle grounds while the rest of us were laid up, and reported a secret stash of wine they discovered in a head priest's quarters. And we've been meaning to bring a cart with us for some time, so we made sure to load up the cart and mule with eight casks of wine from this hidden place. 

Before that, however, we had to deal with a spirit in the chapel. Outside of the room, Spud was able to listen and hear a man's voice, reciting a speech. Girding our guts, we pushed into the chamber. Here, we were met with the apparition of a man of a lordly disposition. Haughty, with a flowing beard and frilly silk garments, he made demand of our presence. He is the spectre of Frederick Malevol (the Melodramatic). Dettmar spoke first, and explained that we were here to collect wine for an event (and this is why I believe the stories of gnomes and dwarves sharing an ancestor; I couldn't have fibbed better myself). Satisfied with our answer, he gave no further trouble to our company. 

As for myself, I made further conversation with the spirit, and learned that he was rehearing a play, and badly, I might add. In case it is useful to you, dear reader, the play is known as "Chains of an Old Woman." I fear to say that the play might be as bad as the rehearsal, but perhaps I need to see it performed by living actors? As a parting gift, I shared an old gnomish limerick for his amusement.

A gnome might go a wandering
As his mind gets to a pondering
What gold can stay
With a dithering bray
As his life he goes about squandering

The booming voice returned as we loaded the wine, mocking us, "You fooled him but you haven't fooled me!" They say the third time's the charm but honestly I found it quite bothersome. 

Back to the Cellar

There was still more wine to get! Descending to the wine cellar, we once again met with Ambrosious Malevol. This time, I did the talking. We informed the monk of the private reserve, which incensed the souse, and he informed our party that the transgression would be brought before the family to declare a "wild hunt," which sounded dreadful to me. I expect we'll eventually face similar retribution from this band of eccentrics the more we poke around and leave with their valuables. 

While I stood watch for the return of Ambrosius, my companions made good with liberating the cask of the family's special reserve. This required some binding on our part, but the efforts were successful. In addition, Spud discovered a strange cask of fortifying wine, which seemed to increase one's resistance to toxins. This we happily added to our haul. 

Finally, while looking for more wine to pilfer, our fellowship discovered a false barrel. Lending our warrior woman my trusty crowbar, she made easy work of its lid, which reveals a hidden tunnel and ladder, leading deeper below the castle. Many of us are quite keen to see where this might lead. 

Lastly, on the way out, we grabbed the grandfather clock from the study which adjoins the cellar (unfortunately, Ben Mordecai, the proprietor of the curio shop in town didn't wish to buy the evil thing).

Past the North Door in the Study

The study room, which housed the clock, has a north facing door. We pushed through, and this opened into a chamber of 60' x 20'. Two doors are on the eastern wall of this room, about 10 feet apart. An herbal smells lingers here, and it is filled with accoutrements of an arcane persuasion. A low desk has on top of it a stuffed raven, which tested magical according to our dwarven cleric. Strange glyphs were engraved on the wall, and I made rubbings of them with chalk and parchment. 

There is also a strange geometry displayed on the wall. I investigated too closely, I must confess, and my mind was lost in a spiral of strange Euclidean angles which threatened to drive me mad! However, gnomish minds are not so easily broken, as there are many magic workers amongst my kind, and I was able to shake off whatever trap was laid. I can confidently say that I may not have walked away any wiser for the experience, but I certainly am smarter for it. The tangents!

Finally, there were a couple of shelves arrayed with a wizard's bric-a-brac. Spud wisely scooped it all into a sack for further consideration. Like them, I'm hoping that it's worth a pretty penny. 

Within the Twin Doors

After making the most of things in the wizard's study, we explored through the double doors on the east wall. This led us to a chamber about 30' x 30', but cleaned out it would seem (do we have competition?). There is a door in the east corner of the north wall, as well as a door located at the center east wall. 

This door is quite mysterious and strange, showing a wrought iron head of a bat! I was dreading my attempt to pick its lock, but thankfully our mysterious mesmer was simply able to magick it open to my great relief. I will note that the iron bat opened and closed its mouth several times before opening, so I expect this to be a complex lock if I need to try opening it myself. 

The Vampire's Lair?

One of the most dreadful things one can encounter would be a vampire, naturally. And I think my companions and I found one. 

The chamber in question is 50' x 30' with a door to the south, another to the north, and another 30' from the western wall. It is a luxurious and well-appointed suite. Red and black drapes decorate the walls, and family portraits hang. A plump, plush couch has a coffin sitting atop it, with a red decanter resting on top. A writing desk sits at one wall, and there is a trunk here as well. Four gold candelabra sit on the desk, and crossed rapiers decorate the wall. Our dwarfish cleric confirmed that one is magical, as well as the hanging portraits. Nothing we could immediately view tested as evil, but there is no telling for sure until we open things up. 

However, we decided to back away from the cusp of wealth, as it was growing late and decided it was best not to push our luck. 

Of Note 

Be ready to confront a supreme undead. 

Continue with Part Eight (coming circa 9/15/26).

-Daz

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Showcase: Orc's Lair by Grenadier Models

During the 80s and 90s, Grenadier Models, Inc. was one of the major players in the fantasy miniatures space. The company was able to secure licenses to a large number of games and intellectual properties, including Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. The miniatures were produced under the Solid Gold range, and the boxes and blisters from this period featured gold-colored trade dress and packaging. After losing the license, most of these figures were repackaged and sold under the Fantasy Lords line. Today, many of these are still sold Mirliton Miniatures, an Italian miniatures company who acquired many of the old Grenadier molds sometime after the company shut down in the mid-90s. 

The collection I'm showcasing is the Orc's Lair, a terrific set of miniatures that gives you a strong core of orcs to use in either TTRPGs or tabletop wargaming. These belonged to my father, who bought them new in the 1980s when they were first produced. Later, they passed to me, and I thought them long lost when I gave permission to my brother to sell our father's miniature collection due to strong financial need. However, they were not lost, and were later unearthed in the early 2010s by my old friend and former roommate, who rediscovered them after hiring a cleaner to clean the house we shared. 

I was shipped this set, along with many others of the original Grenadier Solid Gold sets. All were unpainted, and I started work to preserve them immediately. Lead rot had already begun to set into some of the figures, and I wanted to do what I could to save what was possible. 

These figures were packaged with foam inserts, making them popular as storage was included. Storage solutions were scant in the early 80s and 90s, and there weren't many options available. And of those that were, they were only designed for single figures and not the larger kits that were being produced during the era. Pictured above is the original foam insert that came with the kit. I have also seen these in a dark gray. I've also noticed that some have had a tendency to degrade over time, though I'm unsure why - likely a combination of factors in the overall storage of the kits. Mine mostly sat in my father's den in Hawai'i, and later in a garage in Florida. Now they are in Texas with me, properly stored and on display in my home. Occasionally they come down to challenge adventurers or plunder against other tribes on the tabletop. 

During this period, and also under the Fantasy Lords release, each boxed set would contain a paper insert describing the contents. I know, at least among some of the releases from this period, the inserts varied over time. The one pictured above is what was in Dad's set and reads as follows:

Grenadier Models, INC
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
2011 ORC'S LAIR
Grenadier Models Inc. is proud to present the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons figure line. This collection was designed with the co-operation of T.S.R. Hobbies Inc., to ensure complete fidelity to the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons cosmology.
This fantasy figure set was specifically created for the fantasy role playing gamer. 
A. Standard
B. Axeman
C. ShortSword
D. Archer
E. Swordsman
F. Leader
G. Warclub
H. Shaman
I. Captain

There are also lead warnings and copyright notices at the bottom of the sheet. The copyright is 1980. Note that the insert says 25mm. These are true 25mm scale miniatures, and look noticeably smaller than most modern miniatures; even against modern 25/28mm figurines. This is often a shock for people whose primary exposure to the miniatures hobby is through Warhammer! By the post-slotta base era, Warhammer models were already starting to get bigger.

Below is the assembled and individual figures for your viewing pleasure. One final anecdote I'd like to share concerns the standard. At some point the original standard was lost to the mists of time. Pops was always converting figures, so I expect it was lost to one of these, or perhaps it was in one of the toolboxes that housed the rest of his collection. Either way, I was on the hunt for a replacement piece after I received them around 2013. It wasn't until about 2025 that finally found a replacement from a vintage seller on eBay. Needless to say, I was overjoyed at being able to finally make the set complete!

The whole set of Orc's Lair figures, ready for pillaging.

Orc's Lair Shaman

Orc's Lair Leader

Orc's Lair Warclub

Orc's Lair Standard

Orc's Lair Archer

Orc's Lair Axeman

Orc's Lair Swordsman

Orc's Lair ShortSword

Orc's Lair Captain

-Daz

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Castle Xyntillan Journal - Part Six

Before you proceed, please understand that this is an in-character record of my gaming notes. Be aware that it contains spoilers for the Castle Xyntillan mega dungeon module. Turn back now.

Start at Part One.

Learn more about the Castle Xyntillan Campaign.

For this scheduled session, many of the players at our table, myself included, could not make it. Instead, please enjoy this short fiction. 

Source: Wikimedia Commons

August 18, 2026

Norg turned, and a pair of bloodshot eyes met his gaze. The wood brown face in the mirror frowned at him. It was his face. His long white beard, typically worn long, neatly combed, and tied at the end, was tangled. His favorite red cap was stained brown from tobacco smoke. He had been up for hours, too many to count, and now Baravar Cloakshadow, the gnomish god of illusion and deception, weaved his tricks and illusions at this small hour of the night. Thick pipe smoke filled his cramped room at the Vulgar Unicorn, not that it mattered to one of his stature. Was it true, or was he being paranoid? He needed to clear his head.

He hopped down from his chair, the soft leather of his boots lightly kissing the rough wooden floor. The gnome strode to the window, and his small but strong hands pushed open the shutters. Leaning on the sill, Norg let his head rest in his palms as the strongly scented smoke rushed outward. Baravar may be the god of deception to his people, but he is also the god of protection. Only Garl Glittergold stands higher in regard amongst the gnomish people. 

Watery blue eyes gazed out over the city, scanning rooftops and chimneys as they rose higher, eventually settling on the moon. She was waxing crescent, glowing softly as cotton puff clouds slowly sailed past. It was a good sign, one of new beginnings. Now is a time for setting intentions, especially ambitious little fellows like Norg.

The last haul was good. He and his companions from the delving company made it back with their lives, as well as a nice little haul of booty. The Malevol's vintage was easily sold, and having sampled it in the castle cellars, it was easy to see why. It was certainly one of the finest wines he's ever tasted in seventy-five years of walking the world. They would have to go back and secure the rest. Unfortunately, that likely means putting Ambrosius down. It was clear he wouldn't easily part with the family's special reserve. A shame, as Norg genuinely liked the jolly monk. 

They called him Leadbelly for a reason. Like his dwarfish cousins, gnomes are a merry making folk, and in his youth Norg whiled away many hours in drink, dancing and song. But he was never destined to be a goldsmith or gem cutter. Instead, he drifted into adventuring, joining a long gnomish tradition of rebels and mischief makers. Hopefully he would be one to truly strike it rich! Coin passes quickly through gnomish fingers. Or at least they did for him. 

Norg had seen many things within Castle Xyntillan. Disturbing things that went against the grain of life. While no friend of Law, neither was he a servant of Evil; Norg simply wanted to get rich just as much as the two-bit delvers with whom he trucked around. Today was the day where his fellowship would make their weekly foray into the castle, ready to help its residents part with what wasn't nailed down.

However, it wasn't meant to be. His brothers and sisters in the pursuit of fame and fortune each faced setbacks that kept them from making the trip out to the castle grounds. Spud wouldn't stop mooning over the painting of Philomone, which the delving company recovered during an earlier expedition. Whim injured himself during fighting practice. Carl simply stared wistfully out the window of his room, musing on when they might visit 'tina once more. Sister Riley was kept back to attend to business with her order. And Brother Jean faced similar restrictions with his holy brothers. And Norg made the sixth member of this company.

Six is a sacred number, one of harmony and balance. Things have been sailing smoothly as these companions became more regular in their expeditions to the castle. But something must be lacking for the balance to so suddenly slip out of alignment. Would a seventh companion tip the scales back into his favor? It is the divine number after all. Or was this a prank from his gods, meant to teach him some lesson in humility?

The gnome rose to his feet and moved toward the tall desk on the opposite end of his room. He scooped the carafe that was sitting there with trained hands, tilting it to fill his tankard. Ruby red drops trickled out. The wine was gone. He had spent the day drinking, chasing the memory of the Malevol family's special reserve. Norg realized now that he was quite drunk. 

Continue with Part Seven.

-Daz

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Sexploitation Classic Angel (1984) Provides a Gritty Look at 80s LA

1984's Angel has been on my to watch list for some time now. I finally got around to it. For those of you that don't know about this cult classic, Angel follows the story of Molly, a straight-A honor student by day, and street walking Angel by night. As a serial killer begins targeting prostitutes, Molly finds herself swept up in events that culminates in a bloody showdown in this sexploitation flick. I only knew this movie by its cult reputation, and original trailer, but you can watch the full thing here.

"Angel" press photo. Source: Wikipedia

Angel was co-written and directed by Robert Vincent O'Neil. From what I've seen online, Angel is the work he's best known for, and I haven't seen any of his other works. 

Cast

Donna Wilkes stars as the titular Angel, and it's her best known role. While the original movies spawned several sequels, she retired from acting not long after shooting this flick. Donna holds her own as the movie's lead alongside its ensemble cast. They work hard to empathize Molly's young age in the movie, putting Donna in pigtails, frilly socks, and other affectations to center her youth. 

Cliff Gorman plays a LAPD detective investigating the killings. While watching, I thought the actor had a lazy eye. I was wrong. Gorman actually has a glass eye, and it sometimes proves distracting in his scenes. I think he nailed the vibe of a tough city detective, and brought a noir edge to his character. 

Western legend Rory Calhoun supports the main cast of characters as Kit Carson, a Hollywood cowboy legend of the silver screen. And honestly, his is one of the best characters in a movie loaded with great characters. 

Susan Tyrrell is Solly Mosler, Angel's eccentric painterly landlord, who shows up later in the movie than the main cast of street characters, but she is sure to eat up her screen time with a spirited portrayal. I wish her character had more screentime. 

Dick Shawn plays Mae, a streetwise drag queen and prostitute who serves as a parental figure to Molly. Dick is blessed with some of the best dialogue in the movie. For this movie being made in its time, Mae's character is surprisingly well served. I just wish they could've taught Dick how to better walk in heels. 

Plot

The core story of Angel centers on Molly, an honor student in high school. Abandoned by her parents, Molly turned to prostitution at age twelve to make ends meet. She survives with the help of her friends, a colorful cast of street people from all walks of life. 

After a serial killer murders a sex worker close to Angel, Molly and friends band together after an unhelpful police response. Things culminate in a final showdown, where the killer is put down for good. 

My Thoughts on Angel

First, I can see why this is a cult classic! A solid piece of B-movie schlock, Angel thrives on the grimy streets of 80s LA. Mostly shot on location within Los Angeles, Angel shows us the bygone LA of yesteryear, with a healthy layer of grit underneath the city's glitter. There are many great framing shots of the city, as a well as long shots down the Boulevard. It captures a look of the city that's mostly long forgotten, but reminds me of the time I spent there years and years ago. 

Angel has a solid soundtrack, largely supported by synth and written by Craig Saffan. I found the scoring very pleasant, and reminds me strongly of John Carpenter's own attempts at scoring his work. I think it's one of those things you either love or hate. But you should love it. 

The ensemble cast is a wonderful found family of characters, with some really solid casting throughout. Seasoned actors like Rory Calhoun and Dick Shawn are great support for the rest of the cast, and really help elevate everyone's performance when they're on screen. Dick Shawn's Mae is surprisingly well rounded in an age when queer representation was low, and typically relegated to the butt of a joke. 

Angel is technically a sexploitation flick, but mostly fails to live up to the title. While there are many gratuitous topless shots throughout the movie, there is little actual sex, and the violence is relatively tame for a time when R-rated movies were pushing boundaries in this space. John Diehl does shine as the serial killer, and performs some amazing bits through method acting. 

The writing and dialogue are serviceable, but definitely clumsy at times. I could feel the struggle Wilkes had with some of the lines she was delivery. But one thing that makes movies like these cult classics is the earnestness and hard work of the cast. The relative newcomers were well supported by the more seasoned members of the cast. 

I enjoyed watching Angel, and the movie kept my interest through its runtime. I recommend it to those who enjoy exploitation movies, 80s movies, and anyone who wants to discover another cult classic.

-Daz

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Norg's Exhaustive Guide to Common Dungeoneering Equipment

Being well prepared with good gear can mean the difference between life and death. With that in mind, what follows are examples of how I've used equipment, as well as ideas I've considered for using various pieces of common dungeoneering gear. No doubt you'll come up with many more! Just be sure to share these ideas with your favorite   adventuring company, local mercenary guild, roustabouts, scoundrels and rascals. 

Bonny Scot. Source: Wikimedia Commons

Ale, pint: You can drink it of course but also use ale as a mild cleaner or disinfectant. 

Backpack: A default piece of equipment; also good for smuggling gnomes.
Barrel: In some campaigns we've used barrels for their intended purpose of transporting wine and spirits. You can also pour certain slimes and oozes into the bunghole (teehee). 
Bedroll: Why sleep in one when you can use it for hiding bodies? Or setting up a double cross if you're expecting an ambush?
Bell: With some twine, it's easy to fashion a makeshift alarm when making camp. They can also be used for signaling. 
Belt: Most folks use them for holding up their trousers. But you could also use it for ziplining or binding a prisoner or bundling loot. 
Blanket, woolen: Ideal for staying warm in cold climates. Good for quickly extinguishing a fire or fanning one. Dip in oil or wax to help weatherproof the material. 
Block and tackle: Most people would use this for hoisting heavy items up and down vertical passages, like a well or air shaft in a mine. 
Boots, soft: Perfect for a sneakthief or a Pisces. Great if you're expecting rough terrain, like in the mountains. Or perhaps a swift kick to the pants?
Bottle (wine), glass: A barrel too large to haul? Decant a sample for transport and identification. Or build a ship inside. Or break it and spread the glass as a makeshift trap and alarm. 
Box (empty): Put something inside, like a toad or gold. Wrap in festively decorated paper to make it a special gift!
Bracer, leather (archery): Protect your wrist from the snapping of bowstrings. 

Caltrops: Useful to spread around the perimeter of camp as a trap, especially if camping in dungeons. Just place them in front of the entrance! Or spread them behind you if needing to flee. Coat them in poison for extra fun, or see if your Dungeon Master will let you toss them with a sling!
Candle, beeswax: Useful as a small light source. You can use the melted wax to weatherproof a cloak, or to coat items for preservation. A candle or wick can be trimmed and used as a timer.
Canvas (per sq. yd): A multitude of uses! A convenient drop cloth if you need to keep an area clean. Cover a pit trap and camouflage with local materials. Useful for bundling bulky but light loot. Wrap up stuff you need to drag, like bodies. 
Cauldron and tripod: Brew ale with the alewives. Brew potions with the magic users. Cook soups and stews with the inn keepers. Conduct profane rituals with the lost and the damned. Use as a crucible if you need to melt things down. Or as a pestle if you are grinding things up. 
Chain (per 10 ft): For when rope just won't cut it, or keeps getting cut. Imitate a ghost!
Chalk, piece: Mark areas in dungeons. Leave messages. Grind into dust to measure foot traffic. Blow it into your enemies eyes. Load into a bellows and puff it out to cover invisible things. Draw ritual circles. 
Chest (empty): Put treasure into here. Bury it for later retrieval. Put bodies into here. Bury while they live if they annoy you!
Cloak: Every thief needs at least one. Use it to conceal your body. Treat with wax or oil to weatherproof. Wrap it around your body for warmth. If you are brave, use it as a parachute!
Crowbar: Good for prying things open and bashing kneecaps. Decent fire poker. 

Dice, bone, pair: Pass the time at camp or the tavern rolling bones. 
Dice, loaded, pair: Pass the time at camp or the tavern rolling bones (and win).
Doublet, linen: Look fancy, feel fancy. The pillowy nature of this garment is good for concealing small items. 

Firewood (per day): Start a campfire! Or commit arson! I'm not your father. 
Fish hook: Land some trout to feed your party. Dangle from threads suspended from the ceiling for a nasty surprise. Do not swallow. 
Fishing net (per 25 sq. ft): Great for catching fish. Rig with a sapling for small game, or small humanoids. Or suspend with a tripwire trigger for tangling opponents. Great for catching things alive. 
Flask (leather): This holds your booze. Share with your friends. It's also great for collecting samples to bring to your local alchemist. Fill with air if you need a small buoy. 
Flint and steel: Start fires. Watch the world burn. Don't leave home without it!

Gloves, kidskin, pair: Most useful for protecting your hands from direct contact with surfaces while preserving your sense of touch. Look dashing at court.   
Gown, woolen: Stay warm in winter when at home. Great for underdressing armor if you're expecting inclement weather. 
Gown, linen: Stay cool during summer when at home. Pretend to be a ghost (see Chain above).
Gown, silk: Stay comfy in all weather. Give as a gift to impress the upper crust. Soak in water for a strong material. 
Grappling hook: Great for climbing. Chuck it at a speeding wagon to hitch a lift, but be sure to wear heavy boots. Decent club, in a pinch. 

Hammer (tool, not war): You need this for your pitons and spikes. Tap on walls when searching for secret doors. Tap on heads for detecting thoughts. 
Holy symbol, silver: Show the gods you really care. Or show that you have serious coin.
Holy symbol, pewter: When you want to show off, but have to slum it. Good for a quick and easy disguise if you're trying to impersonate high-ranking clergy on a budget. 
Holy symbol, wooden: Use to show your piety, and/or empty pockets. Better than nothing. 
Horse, cart: You'll need one if you're planning a big haul, like from a castle or temple. The cart isn't pulling itself!
Horse, nag: This is an old horse. Good for light work, or maybe swindling an idiot.
Horse, palfrey: If you've made it as an adventurer, this is a great riding horse to show off your wealth. 
Horse, rouncey: An all purpose horse. If you are of an equine mind, grab one as your starter horse. Great for riding, hauling, or light combat (with training).
Horse, war, heavy: Fighters and Paladins love these. If you're wearing heavy armor most of the time, it's a great choice. 
Horse, war, light: Better for lightly armored adventurers that still have need of a well-trained steed. 
Horse, war, medium: A great options for skirmishers like rangers or clerics that are ready to tangle. 
Hose: Well-chosen hose is an excellent way to show how your well-toned calves. For men, it's a must. 

Iron spikes, dozen: Use as a doorstop. Hammer in with a mallet to keep a door shut longer. 

Ladder (per 10ft): If you're short, like me, a must have for around the house. Great for reaching windows during second story work. Decent as a makeshift bridge. Don't walk under a standing ladder.
Lamp (bronze): Give to your favorite genie. Fill with oil to use as a light source. Bonk over your head for sweet dreams. 
Lantern, bullseye: Unlike your standard lantern, these can focus their light source to a specific area. Great for searching, and maybe signaling. Some models let you fully mask the light for quick hiding. 
Lantern, hooded: A hood can be dropped to dim the light source down to that of a candle. Great for quickly hiding while exploring. Also great for blinding the unaware during an ambush. 
Lock: Secure your goods in a chest or behind a door. Place in a sock for a fun and easy blackjack. 

Manacles: Useful if a humanoid needs to be taken alive. Or for securing a creature to a structure, like a portcullis. 
Mirror (small steel): A sheet of polished steel. Use for peeking around corners, signaling outdoors, blinding opponents during an archery contest, and more!
Mirror (small silver): As above, but usually better because silver is more reflective. 
Mule: Small fellows like me might enjoy them for riding, but most use them in dungeons for hauling loot and gear. A bit expensive, but unintelligent monsters might take them as bait if you need to flee.
Musical instrument: Now I'm a fan of a good mouth harp, and I can play the spoons decently enough, but there is a class of folk that prefer strings like a lute or lyre, or winds like the bagpipes, or percussion, like a drum. Can be useful to make a good first impression. Can be bashed over someone's head to leave a final one. 

Needle and thread: Pick some up! They are cheap and weigh next to nothing and you'll be glad to have it when you need to mend up your cloak or tunic. If you have enough needles, they can be useful as an annoyance if buried vertically in soft ground. Do not place in mouth!

Oil (lamp) (per pint): You'll need oil if you're carrying a lantern. They also make great weapons against trolls and other beasties that fear fire. Or you can use them to control the battlefield by creating slip and trip hazards, or lighting things on fire! You can grease yourself up to traverse tight spaces (don't ask).
Ox: Use a team to pull your wagon. Spare one to feed the dragon. Trade the last for a flagon. Retire. 

Parchment (per sheet): Magic users will want them to record magical formulae. Laymen will want them for note taking and mapping. Useful for detecting fine gaps in walls when searching for secret and concealed doors. Cheaper than vellum, and generally lower quality. 
Pin (cloak): Keep your cloak secured! Stab a foe in the eye! Secure bandages! Place under cushions for hours of fun!
Piton: These are best for climbing, but I suppose you could use them to fix someone (or something) to the wall if you're trying to send a particular kind of message. More reliable than an iron spike in this way.
Pole (per 10ft): A ten-foot pole is a traditional piece of adventuring kit, don't leave home without it. Use it for poking things from ten feet away. As a gnome, I tie chalk to the end to mark ceilings in dungeons. Most monsters DON'T look up. 
Pony: The preferred mounts for halflings, dwarves and gnomes. Reliable and usually a bit more mild mannered than a horse. They can still be mean and deliver a bite that smarts! 
Pot, iron: Can be used for cooking or as a makeshift helmet. Great for scooping liquids. Trap small critters underneath them. Cook them up!
Pouch, belt, large: Keep the bigger things you need quick access to inside. 
Pouch, belt, small: Keep the smaller things you need quick access to inside. 

Quill (pen): If you're planning on writing, you'll need one. You could also tickle the nose of your most annoying companion while they sleep. 
Quiver (holds 12 arrows): If you fire a bow occasionally, you'll want this.
Quiver (holds 24 arrows): If you fire a bow often, you'll want this instead. 
Quiver (holds 12 bolts): Occasional crossbow users will want one.
Quiver (holds 24 bolts): Frequent crossbow users will want one. 

Rations, standard (per day): You'll want enough to feed your entire company when venturing into the wilderness, or underground. One per person, per day of travel plus enough for three additional days beyond your estimated travel time is recommended in case you lose your way. 
Rations, trail (per day): These taste like old boots, but last just as long. If the weather is a concern, or you will be traveling far from civilization, they make for an excellent choice. 
Reins, bit and bridle: You'll need a set for any four-legged creature you're bringing along. Let your groom hireling deal with the animals, however. 
Robe, linen: Magic users seem fond of them. I assume they enjoy the spaciousness and freedom of movement. Not too scratchy. 
Robe, silk: When your magic using friend starts to make some serious coin, this is what they always choose. Good for them. 
Rope, hemp (per 50 ft): You'll want to bring rope. Use it for ascent, descent, bundling, capturing, measuring depths, creating tripwires, playing tug-a-war, skipping rope, lashing timber for rafts, and much, much more!
Rope, silk (per 50 ft): Like hemp rope, but stronger. Worth the cost if you can spare the coin. 

Sack, small: For small treasures.
Sack, large: For large treasures. 
Saddle and stirrups: If you're planning to ride a horse, pony or mule, you will need a set. 
Satchel: If a large belt pouch is insufficient, this is the way to go. Great for protecting valuables from the elements. 
Scrollcase, bone: Fancy but fragile. Typically more water resistant than leather. 
Scrollcase, leather: The old standby. Useful not just for scrolls, but also maps, notes and other cylindrical objects. In a pinch, use them for breathing while submerged in water. 
Shoes, common: What you'll want if you can't afford boots. Otherwise, you'll go barefoot or have to wrap your feet in cloth. 
Shoes, noble: Worth the investment (along with matching clothes) if you are frequently rubbing elbows with the upper crust. 
Shovel: Just bring one along. There will be times where you want to dig and wish you had one. You can also bash idiots over the head with it, of which I approve!
Signal whistle: Useful for signaling over distances, or waking up deep sleepers. Or annoying your comrades. 
Skillet: Fry eggs, sausages, and more! Melt wax or other objects. Hit someone in the head (see shovel). 
Soap (per lb): Useful while traveling. Keep clean and hygenic! Grind against stone to create slippery surfaces for an ambush, or early alarm at your dungeon camp. 
Spell book (blank): Magic users should own at least two spell books. One to keep at home, and one for traveling. 

Tent: Useful for traveling outdoors, or in large underground areas. If weather is a concern, you'll want one!
Thieves' tools: Practically necessary for picking locks and disarming mechanical traps. If you can't afford these when starting out in thieving, get a set as soon as possible. 
Torch: Your cheapest and most practical source of light! Can be used to set things alight. Don't leave home without at least a dozen. Hire a boy to carry the torch when you can so your hands can stay free.
Tunic, woolen: Pick one up if you're traveling in the hills or mountains. 
Tunic, banqueting: Grab one of these if you need to schmooze with nobles. Otherwise, you're just advertising that you have money and are a mark. 
Twine, linen (per 100 ft): Use for rigging up simple alarms with a bell, or a tripwire for a simple crossbow trap. Mark the twine before delving so that you can use it for measuring distances in a dungeon or ruin. Can be used as a thick thread for repairing lighter armor, like leather. In a pinch, can be used to stich your friend back together. 

Vellum (per sheet): The fancy paper monks use, made from calfskin. Use this if you need your records to be long lasting and of high-quality. 

Wagon, small: You'll want this if you have a larger party, or have the opportunity to carry large booty. Many can be pushed by one or two people, but you might find it more convenient to use a draft animal.
Wagon, large: For carrying more. You'll also need horses or oxen to move this contraption. 
Water, holy (per vial): These can hurt the undead if you splash them will it. Carry a few if you can spare the coin and are expecting the unliving!
Waterskin (3 pint): It's important to stay hydrated on the road, don't leave home without it! Can also be used to carry other fluids, and many can be squeezed to create a stream of liquid. Do with that knowledge what you will. 
Whetstone: Keep your blades honed and in good repair while traveling. Take care of them and they will take care of you.
Wine, pint: While it comes in pints, you're actually allowed to have much more! Like ale, it works as a cleaning agent in a pinch, or as an antiseptic. 

-Daz

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Castle Xyntillan Journal - Part Five

Before you proceed, please understand that this is an in-character record of my gaming notes. Be aware that it contains spoilers for the Castle Xyntillan mega dungeon module. Turn back now.

Start at Part One.

Learn more about the Castle Xyntillan Campaign.

Author: Mike Cottam. Source: Wikimedia Commons

The Fifth Expedition, August 4, 2026 

There has been much to mull over since our previous foray into the Castle Xyntillan. The last campaign was one of the most profitable so far, and it has my comrades eager to reap more riches from the crumbling stones of the Malevol's home. Finally, they are starting to think like gnomes! We had many irons in the fire in preparation for our first visit of the month. 

Our adventuring company arranged as follows: 

• Norg, a thief (and yours truly) 
• Whim, a fighter (and gnome at heart) 
• Spud, a fellow thief (and hopeless romantic)
• Carl, my favorite cleric 
• Riley, my second favorite cleric (apologies if you are reading this, Riley) 
• Jean, a new cleric, and quickly becoming my third favorite cleric! 
• Noz, our faithful torch bearer rounded out our company 

Rumours Heard in the City 

The city was abuzz with gossip surrounding the castle. No doubt, the riches I and my companions recovered have set the tongues of the gossips wagging, as they were more than happy to part with new details concerning the dungeon.  

"I'd love to get into the cellars! Sometimes the real treasure is in the casks" Author's note: This confirms stories I've been hearing since my very first expedition, as well as what the butler shared during our previous visit. 

"Jean Gascard Malevol is concerned that he's considered a traitor to the family." Author's note: This may well be true, as I am learning that the Malevols are factitious and not necessarily unified.  

I also made inquires into gargoyles, as I'm still hoping to approach the right one regarding its tale, based on rumours I've heard previously. This lead me to The Church of Boniface, where I found our company's clerics in conversation with Father Bernard. Poor Bernard is the relief for Father Chlodowig, who went missing under mysterious circumstances. Father Bernard is a man of great faith but little experience, and the poor lout seems to have drawn the short straw after graduating the seminary, but I digress! The gargoyles! 

Father Bernard shared with me, in great confidence, that he has observed the gargoyles lurking in the gothic architecture of the church moving. And when he's traveling, he informed that Pagan men are watching him from the wood. Truly, men and women of Faith struggle with things us lay people never consider! 

In general, it seems that gargoyles are protectors of places, and at times can be tricky. As a gnome, I can understand this. For one must, at times, be devious to protect hearth and home. Notably, it seems that some believe gargoyles are created with purpose, similar to how many golems are produced. Could this rumoured tale-telling gargoyle be built for the purpose of sharing stories? Or have they simply existed long enough to witness many things? I would very much like to speak with one and learn the truth, one way or another.  

In addition, the holy symbol we recovered during our previous campaign does match that of the Bonifician faith. So perhaps the body in the mess hall is that of Father Chlodowg? I am not particularly curious unless there is coin involved in solving this mystery, and Father Bernard seems quite poor. 

Finally, we convince the good Father to allow us to store the evil items we recovered within the hallowed grounds of the church. I feel this is a better alternative to keeping them at the Vulgar Unicorn, where there is no telling what fate my befall them! 

One more thing: Father Bernard was more than happy to equip our party with tools to employ against the undead. Spud sprung for holy water, and I and Carl gathered garlic and stakes in case we were to encounter vampires (but hopefully not, as they sound dreadful). 

The Grand Foyer 

Our party decided to continue the pursuit of good booty, and once again enter through the main entrance. The apparition of James is still present, and still crying. His undeath seems to haunt him, and the spirit could barely recall our previous visit. This leads me to believe that some undead are stuck in cycles, and are fated to repeat certain behaviours and actions for eternity.  

Asking after the wine, James did inform us that Jean Gascard is in charge of the vintage. But also knowing in the mortal realm that he left Castle Xyntillan, I am led to believe my theory concerning his spirit exists in a certain kind of stasis of belief.  

Doors, Doors 

Previously, we only followed a path to the portrait gallery. This time around, we decided to check the many other doors from the foyer; at least this way we could see where they might lead.  

• Southwest: leads to an empty room of about 30' x 40' 
• Northwest: opens into a long hallway, turning north about halfway down and turns south near the end.  
• Northeast: this opens into a large room, described below. 

The Strange Study 

Coming from the northeast door of the study, this door opens into a large chamber spanning 30' and 60. The eastern wall contains a fireplace, the northeast wall has a door. To the south there is another door, and the north wall has both a desk with neatly stacked notes as well as a grandfather clock. There is also an armoire against one of the walls.  

This room is unnaturally dark, and swallowed up our torchlight. Jean cast a holy light spell, and it did nothing to banish the strange darkness of this room.  

The grandfather clock is ticking, but it runs backwards. When Riley used her clerical powers to detect evil, it scintillated with a deeply evil aura. This leads me to believe it's quite valuable, and I regret for a third time not investing in a cart. Next time I will bring one! 

Spud shared an interesting theory that the clock might cause time to run backward. But when they exited the room they were able to continue holding conversation with the company who stayed in the room. The theory warrants further inquiry, but I believe that the clock will make for valuable loot and I wish to sell it. Let the antiquarians ponder its mysteries!  

Jean examined one note, which appeared unsealed and unsent and unsigned. It is requesting that the men-at-arms who oversee the defense of the nearby town submit to the authority of the castle. The remaining notes we stuffed into one of our burlap sacks so that we could spend our time reviewing them.  

The armoire contained a great deal of clothing, but nothing valuable. It was all for servants. However, Spud shook them out and found a signet ring stamped with the initial 'M'. It is made of gold and later proved to be valuable enough!  

We also found a chest in the standing closet. Losing the contest between myself and Spud, I then proceeded to investigate it for potential traps. Finding none, I opened it away from mine own face as well as my party. Inside we found a plain dagger and a vial marked with a skull. The obvious assumption is poison, but I know the apothecary in town will identify these kinds of things for a small sum of twenty-five pieces of gold.  

The fireplace was unlit. However, the body of a dandy was stuffed awkwardly inside. I don't wish to speculate on how he wound up there! Carl and I secured him with a rope, and attempted to hoist his body out. This only let to him crumbling to ash and fragments of bone. Sadly, stirring up the remains resulting in no further precious objects being found.  

Father Carl did search further into the fireplace, and found a concealed lever. Rigging up twine and a hook from my thieving tools, we were able to activate the device, revealing a hidden smokeroom. An entire ham, parted into individual slices, was all that we found. Sadly, they were not worth much back at town.  

It may be worth the effort for me to climb the chimney, but I am hesitant to do so. We gnomes are not great natural climbers, preferring our earthly burrows. In addition, who knows what might be found at the top of that smokestack? 

Serpentina Malevol 

Whilst we were preoccupied with our pokings and proddings of the study, a figure espied upon us. A young woman, clearly of the Malevol lineage (based on her features), observed us. Dressed garishly, I can clearly recall her lacquered boots, costume bat wings, and devil's horns, wrapped up in a bodice threatening to burst. She introduced herself as Serpentina, to which Father Carl shortened to 'tina.  

This Malevol looked us over, fixating between myself and Carl. And while I am the handsomer of us two by a country mile, humans are unable to appreciate the refined beauty of gnomes. As a result, Serpentina gravitated toward our dear Father.  

Serpentina Malevol is very eager in her courting of our cleric, which I felt she approached in a traditional gnomish way, though I am unsure of human mating rituals. Several times she invited Carl to join her in her room at the tower to indulge in the game of mancala. A gentleman, and recalling his priestly vows, Father Carl gently rebuked 'tina's advances. This did nothing to her drive, and she promptly attached herself to his hip. As this did not immediately endanger our venture, our party did not intervene. To me, it seemed that the good priest was enjoying himself. And I thought I caught a look of envy, or longing, in the eye of young Spud. But what do I know? The more time I spend with humans, the more mysterious they become.  

Stairs to the Cellar 

The south wall of the study opens to reveal a staircase, about 40' long. It descends into a cellar, and I am delighted to share with you, dear reader, that there is wine! There were many casks and vats for making wine in this immediate area.  

Descending the stairs, we encountered a fat monk by the name of Ambrosius. Yes, he seems to be yet another Malevol. A true connoisseur of wine, we encouraged him to give us a tour of the grounds. The monk made sure to share that he carries a flask of fine champagne, to which I would greatly enjoy relieving him of in the future.  

Ambrosius lead us to an adjoining chamber, and brought us before the "best cask he can provide guests." However, with some prodding, he turned us over to a finer cask for the family, and I tasted a sample. To my inexperienced palette, it is a very fine wine indeed. While he was unwilling to bargain for my bottle of ghost gin, I did manage to convince him to part with a full bottle of the family vintage, and it fetched a pretty sum back at the village.  

It was here that Spud brought up their theory once more, and Father Jean easily dispelled the concept by asking Serpentina what the current year might be, to which she responded "1213," which is the current year by human reckoning.  

Brother Ambrosius was also sure to point out a barrel of soured wine, to which I surreptitiously marked with chalk so that we might avoid it in the future. I only wish to loot that which might make me and mine companions wealthy men and women! 

Of Note 

We must bring a cart for the grandfather clock and wine. 

Barrels may be necessary for emptying the casks.  

Serpentina is aware that we are staying at the Vulgar Unicorn inn. I am unsure if she is still smitten with my favorite cleric, or if it was simply a passing fancy.  

We should keep an eye on Father Carl, as some affection seemed to be returned. Whether this is normal human mating behaviour, or some trick of the Malevols, I am uncertain.  

Continue with Part Six.

-Daz

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